- These materials are elaborated by Professor Daniel David Ph.D (see The Cognitive and Behavioural Psychotherapies Treaty; Polirom, 2006) based on theory, and rational-emotive therapy, and cognitive-behavioural therapy, and similar materials elaborated by Albert Ellis (and The Albert Ellis Institute).
GENERAL PRINCIPLES FOR A HAPPY LIFE
I. THE IRRATIONALITY DECALOGUE (worth knowing as to be avoided)
1. YOU MUST succeed in everything you do, OTHERWISE you are wothless as a human being (you are unimportant/ inferior/ weak).
2. YOU MUST succeed in everything you do, OTHERWISE it is awful and catastrophic (the worst thing that could happen to you).
3. YOU MUST succeed in everything, OTHERWISE you cannot tolerate it (it is intolerable).
4. Others MUST be fair and/or nice to you, OTHERWISE you are wothless as a human being (you are unimportant/ inferior/ weak) and/or OTHERWISE they are worthless (evil).
5. Others MUST be fair and/or nice to you, OTHERWISE it is awful and catastrophic (the worst thing that could happen to you).
6. Others MUST be fair and/or nice to you, OTHERWISE you cannot tolerate it (it is intolerable).
7. Life MUST be fair and easy, OTHERWISE you are worthless as a human being (you are unimportant/ inferior/ weak) and/or life is unfair.
8. Life MUST be fair and easy, OTHERWISE it is awful and catastrophic (the worst thing that could happen to you).
9. Life MUST be fair and easy, OTHERWISE you cannot tolerate it (it is intolerable).
10. I, THE OTHERS AND/ OR LIFE MUST ABSOLUTELLY…
II. THE RATIONALITY DACALOGUE (to be read daily, in the morning or on evenings, before going to bed)
1. IT WOULD BE PREFERABLE that you succeed in everything you attempt, and do everything in your power for this to happen, BUT IF YOU DO NOT SUCEED it does not mean that you are worthless as a person, but that you’ve had a less desirable behavior, which can be improved in the future.
2. IT WOULD BE PREFERABLE that you succeed in everything you attempt, and do everything in your power for this to happen, BUT IF YOU DO NOT SUCCEED, remember that it is only (very) bad, not catastrophic (the worst thing that could happen to you).
3. IT WOULD BE PREFERABLE that you succeed in everything you attempt, and do everything in your power for this to happen, BUT IF YOU DO NOT SUCCEED, you can tolerate it, and go on enjoying life, even if it’s more difficult in the beginning.
4. IT WOULD BE PREFERABLE that the others be nice and/or fair to you, BUT IF THEY ARE NOT, it does not mean that your or they are worthless human beings.
5. IT WOULD BE PREFERABLE that the others be nice and/or fair to you, BUT IF THEY ARE NOT, remember that it is only (very) bad, not catastrophic (the worst thing that could happen to you).
6. IT WOULD BE PREFERABLE that the others be nice and/or fair to you, BUT IF THEY ARE NOT, you can tolerate it, and go on enjoying life, even if it’s more difficult in the beginning.
7. IT WOULD BE PREFERABLE that life be fair and easy, BUT IF IT IS NOT, it does not mean that you are worthless as a person, and/or that life is unfair.
8. IT WOULD BE PREFERABLE that life be fair and easy, BUT IF IT IS NOT, remember that it is only (very) bad, not catastrophic (the worst thing that could happen to you).
9. IT WOULD BE PREFERABLE that life be fair and easy, BUT IF IT IS NOT, you can tolerate it, and go on enjoying life, even if it’s more difficult in the beginning.
10. THE ONLY THING THAT MUST BE, IS THAT NOTHING MUST ABSOLUTELLY BE!
III. THE CORE OF INSANITY (worth knowing as to be avoided)
1. I MUST ABSOLUTELLY….
2. OTHERS MUST ABSOLUTELLY…
3. Life MUST ABSOLUTELLY…
IV. THE CORE OF SANITY (to be read daily, in the morning or on evenings, before going to bed)
1. Accept what cannot be changed.
2. Do whatever there is humanly possible to change what can be changed, remembering nontheless that sometimes things MUST NOT happen as you wish them to happen.
3. Know the difference between 1 and 2.
V. ADVICE FOR A RATIONAL AND HAPPY LIFE (to be read daily, in the morning or on evenings, before going to bed)
1. Follow the Rationality Decalogue and avoid the Irrationality Decalogue.
2. Assimilate The Core of Sanity and renounce The Core of Insanity.
3. To want to and do everything that is up to you so that things happen as you want them to, but at the same time keep in mind that things MUST not absolutely happen as you want them to.
4. It would be desirable for others to treat you correctly, but that does not mean they also MUST ABSOLUTELY do it.
5. It would be desirable for you to succeed in everything you do, but that does not mean you MUST ABSOLUTELY do so.
6. It would be desirable for life to be easy and fair, but that does not mean that it MUST ABSOLUTELY be so.
7. If things don’t happen as you want them to that does not mean you are worthless as a human being, it just means that you had a less performant behaviour, which can probably be improved.
8. If things don’t happen as you wished them to, that does not mean it is a catastrophe (the worst thing that could happen to you), it is just an unpleasant (even up to extremly unpleasant) event, and it does not mean that it is the worst thing that can happen to you and it does not mean you cannot enjoy life anymore.
9. If things don’t happen how you wished them to, you can tolerate it and can go on enjoying your life, even if it is harder in the beginning until you start.
10. It is pleasant to have the approval and love of others and you can do everything it is humanly possible to obtain them, but remember that even without those you can accept yourself as a human being worthy of enjoying your life.
11. It is desirable to do everything perfectly, but it is human to make mistakes.
12. People react how they wish to, not how you wish them to and remember that just like you they are not perfect.
SPECIFIC PRINCIPLES FOR A HAPPY LIFE
(When a specific problem occurs, the pill is to be read daily, in the morning or on evenings before going to sleep and everytime it is needed throughout the day)
PSYCHOLOGICAL PILL FOR ANGER, DISSATISFACTION, AGGRESSION, ANNOYANCE, FRUSTRATION
- „I wish that this situation would be different, but I know that my wish must not absolutely become a reality just because I want it to.”
- „I can accept that in my life things I do not want also happen, even if it is unpleasant.”
- „I can tolerate for such a thing to happen to me, even if I don’t want it and I don’t like it.”
- „I can tolerate what I feel, even if it is not something pleasant.”
- „I can tolerate the presence of this thought, even if I don’t like it.”
- „I can accept I did this, even if I would have preffered not to do it.”
- „I can accept other people’s behaviour, even if they don’t always act how I wished them to.”
PSYCHOLOGICAL PILL FOR ANXIETY, PANIC, FEAR, DISTRESS
- „I wish the situation was different, but I know my wish must not absolutely become a reality just because I want it to.”
- „I can accept that in my life things I do not wish can also happen, even if it is not pleasant and I did everything I could to avoid it.”
- „It is extremly unpleasant what happened to me, but it is not the worst thing that could have happened.”
- „I can handle worse situations than the one I am in right now.”
- „It is extremly unpleasant but it is not catastrophic if in this situation I can’t have control the way I want to.”
- „It is bad but not disastrous to experience such emotions.”
- „It is unpleasant but not catastrophic to have such thoughts.”
PSYCHOLOGICAL PILL FOR DEPRESSION, SADNESS
- „I wish the situation was different, but I know my wish must not absolutely become a reality just because I want it to.”
- „I can accept that in my life things I do not wish can also happen, even if it is sad.”
- „I was wrong to act like that, but I will always be a valuable person by the very fact that I am a human being.”
- „Maybe my reaction was a proof of weakness, but it does not show my true value as a person.”
- „Even if I don’t always perform as well as I would want to, I am still a good and a valuable person.”
- „I am satisfied with myself, even if I know I’m not perfect.”